A pre-wedding is an informal celebration that takes place before the wedding day, generally the night before, and that brings together a small group of guests (normally close relatives and intimate friends) in a more relaxed atmosphere than the main ceremony. In Spain, this tradition has become especially popular for destination weddings, where it serves as a welcome for guests traveling from other cities or countries.
Now, if you are reading this, it is probably because someone has talked to you about having a pre-wedding and you have thought: “wait, another party? Another thing to organize? Another bill to pay?”. And you are absolutely right to ask yourself that. Because although the pre-wedding can be a lovely detail for your guests, it can also become a headache if you are not clear about what exactly it is, what it is for, and how to fit it into your budget without it getting out of hand.
The good news is that a pre-wedding does not have to be a “second wedding.” In fact, it should not be.
What is a pre-wedding in Spain today
Let’s clarify concepts, because there is some confusion here that should be resolved from the beginning.
When we talk about a pre-wedding in Spain, we refer mainly to a social event: a dinner, a cocktail, a barbecue or simply a snack in a relaxed atmosphere that you organize before the wedding. It is not a ceremony. It does not have a rigid protocol. And most importantly: it does not have to include all the wedding guests.
The objective of this prior celebration is twofold. On the one hand, it serves to welcome guests who arrive from out of town, especially if your wedding is in a destination like Mallorca and you have friends or family who have traveled expressly to accompany you. On the other hand, it works as a way to break the ice: on the wedding day everyone is more tense, there are protocols, schedules, official photos… The pre-wedding allows everyone to relax a little before the big day.
In practice, the most common pre-weddings in Spain are:
- Welcome cocktail the night before the wedding (the most widespread format)
- Informal dinner in a restaurant or estate for a small group
- Barbecue or snacks at home, terrace or outdoor space
- Brunch or lunch the day before, if the wedding is in the afternoon
What characterizes all of them is that they are more intimate, simpler and shorter than the wedding itself. No one expects a five-hour banquet. No one expects formal speeches. No one expects porcelain dishes.
If you want to dive deeper into each of these styles, we have curated a selection of the best pre-wedding dinner and party ideas in Mallorca that are currently our most requested.
Pre-wedding party vs pre-wedding photo session (and post-wedding)
Here comes another source of confusion: when you search for “pre-wedding” on the internet, two completely different things appear.
On the one hand, there is the pre-wedding party, which is what we have just explained: a social event with guests, food, drink and conversation.
On the other hand, there is the pre-wedding photo session, which is a photo shoot that the couple does with their photographer days or weeks before the wedding. The objective of this session is not to celebrate anything with guests, but to get used to the camera, get to know the photographer better and get more natural and relaxed photos that you can later use for invitations, decoration or simply to have.
They are two different things. You can do one, the other, both or neither.
And while we are at it, let’s also talk about the post-wedding. The post-wedding is a celebration that takes place after the wedding (normally the next day) and that tends to be even more informal than the pre-wedding: a hangover brunch, a paella on the beach, a country meal… It serves to lengthen the celebration, say goodbye to the guests who are leaving and, let’s be honest, to take advantage of the fact that you already have the whole family gathered.
Does it make sense to do a pre-wedding and post-wedding? It depends. If your wedding is in a tourist destination and many guests stay for several days, it might. If you are already short on budget and energy, probably not. In Mallorca, for example, it is quite common for couples to organize a welcome cocktail on Friday, the wedding on Saturday and an informal meal on Sunday before people leave. But this works when you have a group of guests who really stay the full weekend, not when the majority comes only for the wedding day.
Our recommendation from La Sal, after having seen dozens of weddings on the island, is simple: only do what makes sense for your type of wedding and your type of guests. If 80% of your guests are local and arrive the same day, maybe the pre-wedding doesn’t contribute that much. If you have 40 people flying from Madrid, Barcelona or abroad, a welcome cocktail the night before can make the difference between them feeling supported or lost.
This article will surely interest you: Finger buffet: What it is, how to organize it and menu examples for events
Basic protocol: Who is invited and who pays
This is where the real doubts begin. And the uncomfortable conversations.
Is it mandatory to invite everyone from the wedding?
No. Resoundingly no.
The pre-wedding is not a mandatory extension of the wedding guest list. It is a separate, smaller event, and you decide who you invite based on criteria that make sense to you as a couple.
The most common criteria are:
- Only direct family and intimate friends: parents, siblings, grandparents, close uncles and aunts and your closest circle of friends.
- Only guests who arrive from out of town: if your wedding is in Mallorca and you have guests who come from outside the island, it makes sense to invite only them to the pre-wedding as a welcome gesture.
- Only guests staying in the same hotel or area: it facilitates logistics and generates a more cohesive atmosphere.
The important thing is that you communicate clearly who is invited to the pre-wedding and who is not, to avoid misunderstandings. You don’t need to give exhaustive explanations, but you do need to make it clear that the pre-wedding is a separate, smaller event, and that not attending it does not mean that someone is less important.
How is this communicated without hurting sensitivities? Well, with naturalness and sufficient notice.
If you use digital invitations (which is the most practical), you can include a specific section that says something like:
“On Friday, July 12 at 8:00 p.m. we will have a welcome cocktail at [name of the place] for guests arriving from out of town. If you are staying in Mallorca on Friday night, we will be delighted to see you there. Confirm your attendance here!”
Or, if you prefer something more direct:
“Due to the reduced capacity of the space, the pre-wedding will be only for direct family and closest friends. See you on Saturday at the wedding with all of you.”
The key is not to apologize for something that is completely legitimate. You are not doing anything wrong by organizing a more intimate pre-wedding. You are being practical.
Who pays for the pre-wedding? Realistic options
Here comes another delicate subject, because money always is.
In Spain, the most widespread norm is that the bride and groom pay for the pre-wedding, just as they pay for (or coordinate) the rest of the wedding. But this is not an immovable rule. There are perfectly valid alternatives depending on your situation and the type of pre-wedding you organize.
- Option 1: The bride and groom pay: It is the most common. You organize, you invite, you assume the cost. It has the advantage that you control everything (format, menu, schedule) and no one feels in debt. The disadvantage is obvious: it is an extra expense that is added to the wedding.
- Option 2: Parents invite as a detail: In some families, the parents of one of the couple (or both) offer to pay for the pre-wedding as a gift or contribution to the wedding. If this happens naturally and without pressure, great. But watch out: accepting money from parents sometimes comes with “suggestions” about who to invite, what to serve or where to do it. Evaluate if it’s worth it.
- Option 3: Guests pay for their cover: This option generates more debate, but it is increasingly common, especially in groups of friends or when the pre-wedding is more of a “reunion dinner” than a formal act. If you opt for this, communication is crucial. You have to make it clear from the beginning that the pre-wedding will be in an “everyone pays for their own” format so that no one arrives with wrong expectations.
An example of how to communicate it without friction:
“On Friday night we have reserved a table at [name of the restaurant] for those of you who arrive earlier in Mallorca. It will be an informal dinner, everyone pays their bill, and we really want to see you before Saturday. Are you in?”
Or:
“We are going to have an informal snack on Friday at [place]. We have calculated about €25 per person (drink included). If it suits you, count on us!”
What does not work is leaving the payment issue in the air and people discovering on the day of the pre-wedding that they have to pay. That generates discomfort, and it’s not fair.
From our experience at La Sal, we have seen all three options work perfectly well. The important thing is not so much who pays, but that everyone involved knows in advance. No one likes economic surprises, and even less in the context of a wedding.
One last note: if you decide that guests pay their share, choose a simple format (cocktail, snack, barbecue) and a reasonable price. No one wants to pay €60 for a pre-wedding when the next day there is a wedding with a full menu.
When to do the pre-wedding and how long it should last
The timing of the pre-wedding is more important than it seems. Not only because it affects logistics, but because it directly affects how you will arrive at the wedding day.
Is it always done the day before the wedding?
The short answer is: not always, but almost always.
The most common standard in Spain is the night before the wedding, normally in a cocktail format that starts around 7:30 p.m. or 8:00 p.m. and ends at the latest at 1:00 a.m. The idea is that it is a light celebration, which allows you to rest and arrive fresh the next day.
But there are alternatives that may make more sense according to your case:
- Two days before the wedding: If the wedding is a Saturday, doing the pre-wedding on Thursday instead of Friday gives you a full day of margin to rest, make last-minute adjustments and not arrive exhausted at the ceremony. This option works especially well if you have older guests, if the wedding is in a remote place that requires a long trip, or if you are simply those who need to sleep well to function.
- Midday pre-wedding if the wedding is in the afternoon: If your wedding is at 6:00 p.m. or 7:00 p.m., you can organize the pre-wedding as a meal the day before. Meal from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m., free afternoon to rest, and the next day wedding without haste.
- Pre-wedding the previous weekend: Less common, but valid if the wedding is during the week or if there are logistical complications that make it difficult to get people together just the day before.
And now comes the specific advice for Mallorca (and for any Mediterranean destination in summer): take into account the heat and the light. In the middle of August, at 8:00 p.m. it is still considerably hot and the sun does not set until 9:00 p.m. If your pre-wedding is outdoors, think of spaces with shade, fans or air conditioning, and a schedule that takes advantage of the coolest hours of the late afternoon-night.
In La Sal we have seen beautiful pre-weddings that started at 7:00 p.m. on terraces with views, but we have also seen guests being hot because the orientation of the space or the lack of shade was not taken into account. They are details that a local catering knows well and that can make the difference between a pleasant pre-wedding and a pre-wedding where everyone is looking forward to leaving.
Recommended duration and schedule
A pre-wedding should not last more than 3 to 4 hours maximum. Seriously. More time is counterproductive.
Why? Because the objective is not to exhaust people, but to create a pleasant moment of welcome or reunion. If the pre-wedding gets too long, you will all arrive tired, possibly with a hangover, and with less energy for the wedding day (which is the main event, let’s remember).
The most common schedules that work best are:
- 7:30 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. → Evening cocktail, ideal for summer
- 8:00 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. → Slightly later version, works well if it’s very hot
- 1:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. → Midday meal, alternative option if the wedding is in the afternoon
What we do not recommend is starting very late (10:00 p.m. or more) because then the pre-wedding becomes a night party and you end up at 3 or 4 in the morning. And the next day you have hairdressing at 9:00 a.m. Do the math.
It is also important that you communicate the expected end time. You don’t need to kick people out, but you can include in the invitation something like “cocktail from 8:00 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.” so that people know it is not a party until dawn. This helps guests manage their expectations and their energy.
Budget, menu and format of the pre-wedding
This is where things get practical. And expensive, if you are not careful.
How much does a pre-wedding cost (and how to fit it into the wedding budget)
Let’s go with real figures, because that is what really interests you.
A pre-wedding in cocktail format, with tapas, finger food and drink, usually costs between 25 and 35 euros per person. This is a standard range in Spain for a medium-high quality catering service, with fresh product and sufficient variety.
If you go to more elaborate formats (cocktail with themed stations, premium cocktails, a more extensive menu), the price can go up to 40-50 euros per person or even more.
And if you opt for something simpler (cold snacks, basic drink, without waiter service), you can go down to 15-20 euros per person.
Now, how to fit this into the total wedding budget without it getting out of hand?
A rule that works well is to allocate between 5% and 10% of the total wedding budget to the pre-wedding. For example:
- Wedding budget: €20,000 → Pre-wedding: €1,000-€2,000 (for 40-50 people)
- Wedding budget: €30,000 → Pre-wedding: €1,500-€3,000 (for 50-80 people)
- Wedding budget: €15,000 → Pre-wedding: €750-€1,500 (for 30-40 people)
This gives you a realistic framework to work with. If your pre-wedding exceeds 10% of the total budget, you are probably overdoing it (or you are inviting too many people).
The budget will vary depending on the complexity of the service. To get a better visual idea, you can check our pre-wedding menu formats and food stations here.
Guests, etiquette and practical protocol
Even if the pre-wedding is informal, there are certain etiquette rules that should be clear. Not because of protocol rigidity, but so that everyone knows what to expect and how to behave.
Discover also: Autumn menu ideas for guests, for unforgettable events
Dress code and expected behavior
The dress code of a pre-wedding should be semi-formal or casual-elegant, depending on the type of pre-wedding you organize.
Some practical guidelines:
- If it’s a cocktail on a terrace or estate: casual elegant. Men can go with dress pants and a shirt (with or without a jacket), women with an informal dress, skirt and blouse, or elegant pants. No full suits or gala dresses.
- If it’s a barbecue or snacks in a garden: smart casual. Dark jeans, fresh dresses, linen shirts. Even more relaxed.
- If it’s a dinner in a restaurant: semi-formal. A bit dressier than casual elegant, but without reaching the level of the wedding.
The important thing is that you communicate the dress code in the invitation so that no one arrives in flip-flops to a semi-formal cocktail, nor does anyone arrive in a three-piece suit to a barbecue.
As for the expected behavior, there are some things that guests should know (and that you can communicate subtly):
- Confirm attendance in advance. The pre-wedding usually has limited capacity and the catering needs to know exact numbers.
- Do not arrive too late. If the pre-wedding starts at 8:00 p.m., arriving at 10:00 p.m. is in bad taste (and you miss half of the event).
- Do not stay longer than necessary. If the pre-wedding ends at 11:30 p.m., do not be the last to leave at 2:00 a.m. The next day is the wedding.
- Drink in moderation. We have already said it, but it is worth repeating.
And an important point: the pre-wedding is not a second wedding. This means:
- Guests should not wear a white dress (that is reserved for the bride on the wedding day).
- Ceremony protocol is not expected (formal speeches, official toasts, bouquet tossing…).
- No need to bring a gift (the gift is for the wedding, not for the pre-wedding).
All this information does not need to be put in the invitation as if it were a regulation, but you can communicate it naturally when you talk to the guests or on your networks if you share details of the wedding.
Quick checklist to plan your pre-wedding
Okay, you already have all the theory. Now let’s go with the practical: what do you have to do, step by step, for your pre-wedding to turn out well?
Here is a synthesized list of tasks:
- Define the objective of the pre-wedding: Is it to welcome guests from out of town? To break the ice between families who don’t know each other? To have an intimate moment before the chaos of the wedding? Clarifying this will help you make all the other decisions.
- Choose the date and the schedule: Night before vs two days before. Afternoon vs night. Take into account the weather, the logistics of the guests and your energy level.
- Decide who pays: You, your parents, or the guests. Whatever it is, leave it clear from the beginning.
- Make the guest list: Be selective. No need to invite everyone. Define your criteria and apply it without exceptions.
- Define the style and the dress code: Cocktail, dinner, barbecue. Casual, semi-formal, smart casual. Communicate it in the invitation.
- Resolve the catering and the menu: Contact your catering (or with La Sal if you are in Mallorca) and define format, amount of food, type of drink, and if waiter service is needed.
- Reserve the space: Hotel terrace, estate, rural house, private garden, restaurant. Make sure it has capacity for your group and that it fits with the style you want.
- Decide if you will do a photo session in the pre-wedding: Some photographers offer to cover the pre-wedding too. If you want photos of that moment, talk to your photographer.
- Send the invitations with enough time: Minimum 3-4 weeks before so that people can organize.
- Manage the confirmations: Follow up on who is coming and who is not to give definitive numbers to the catering.
And that’s it. No more is needed. The pre-wedding is not a high engineering event; it is simply a well-planned meeting.
This is the La Sal catering service at a pre-wedding event in Mallorca.
If after reading all this you are clear that you want an intimate pre-wedding, well organized and without complicating the gastronomic part, you can support yourself with a catering with experience in events before and after the wedding in Mallorca.
In La Sal we help you define the format, the menu and the schedule that best fits your plan and your budget, whether you are looking for an informal snack or a more complete pre-wedding dinner. We know the spaces, the times, the climate of the island and we know exactly what works (and what doesn’t) in a Mediterranean pre-wedding.
Tell us how you imagine your pre-wedding and we will prepare a personalized catering proposal for your group and your wedding style.